The Things You Were Afraid Of Usually Don't Happen

Before you started wearing your brace to school, your mind probably created a lot of scary stories.

Maybe you imagined everyone staring.

Maybe you pictured people whispering about you in the hallways.

Maybe you worried that your friends would treat you differently.

Maybe you thought someone would make a rude comment every day.

Maybe you were convinced school would never feel normal again.

When we're scared, our brains often try to prepare us for the worst possible outcome.

The problem is that those worst-case scenarios rarely happen the way we imagine they will.

That's not because your fears weren't real.

They were.

The fear felt real.

The anxiety felt real.

The worry felt real.

But fear and reality are not always the same thing.

One of the biggest surprises for many teens is discovering how little attention other people pay to their brace.

That can be difficult to believe when you're thinking about it constantly.

When something feels huge in your life, it can feel like it must be huge in everyone else's life too.

But most students are focused on themselves.

They're thinking about their own classes, their own friends, their own insecurities, and their own problems.

Many people are so busy worrying about what others think of them that they aren't paying much attention to anyone else.

That doesn't mean nobody notices.

Some people do.

A friend might ask a question.

A classmate might be curious.

Someone might glance at your brace if they see it.

But most of the time, that's where it ends.

People notice.

Then they move on.

The situation that played over and over in your head often lasts less than a minute in real life.

Another common fear is worrying that friends will see you differently.

Many teens imagine that scoliosis or bracing will suddenly change their friendships.

The reality is that good friends are usually still the same people after your brace arrives.

They still laugh at the same jokes.

They still talk about the same things.

They still want to spend time with you.

Most friends care far more about you as a person than they do about a piece of plastic you happen to wear.

Some teens worry that they will never feel comfortable at school again.

During the first few days, that fear can seem completely reasonable.

Everything feels unfamiliar.

Everything feels awkward.

Everything feels harder.

Then a week passes.

Then another.

Then another.

Slowly, the things that once felt impossible start feeling normal.

You learn where to sit.

You learn what clothes work best.

You learn how to adjust your backpack.

You learn how to move through your day.

The brace doesn't change overnight.

Your comfort level does.

Sometimes teens are afraid that having scoliosis will become the thing everyone knows them for.

They worry that the brace will become their entire identity.

But the people who know you still know you.

You're still the same friend.

The same student.

The same athlete.

The same artist.

The same gamer.

The same musician.

The same person you were before the brace arrived.

Scoliosis is something you have.

It is not who you are.

Of course, not every fear turns out to be completely wrong.

You may have uncomfortable moments.

You may get questions you don't feel like answering.

You may have days when you feel frustrated or embarrassed.

Those experiences can happen.

The important thing to remember is that difficult moments are usually just that—moments.

They are not your entire school experience.

They are not your entire story.

When we're nervous about something, our brains often convince us that one uncomfortable moment will last forever.

In reality, most uncomfortable moments pass much faster than we expect.

If you've already been wearing your brace for a few weeks, think back to the things that worried you before you started.

How many of them actually happened?

How many turned out differently than you expected?

How many ended up being much smaller than they felt in your imagination?

For most teens, the answer is quite a few.

That's one of the biggest lessons of the first month.

The things you fear the most are often much scarier before they happen than after.

And sometimes, they never happen at all.