I Don't Want to Be Known as the Kid With the Brace

One of the biggest fears many teens have at school isn't about the brace itself.

It's about becoming the brace.

Not literally.

Socially.

You worry that people will stop seeing you and start seeing the brace.

You worry that your identity will shrink down to one thing.

The kid with scoliosis.

The kid with the brace.

The kid who's different.

That fear can feel overwhelming.

Especially when school is such a social environment.

Every day you're surrounded by the same people.

The same classmates.

The same teachers.

The same groups of friends.

It's natural to wonder how people see you.

And it's natural to worry about being defined by something you never chose.

The truth is that most teens want the same thing.

They want to be known for who they are.

Not for a medical condition.

Not for a diagnosis.

Not for a piece of plastic they wear every day.

They want people to see their personality.

Their sense of humor.

Their talents.

Their friendships.

Their interests.

The things that actually make them who they are.

The problem is that insecurity often convinces you that everyone is focused on the brace.

And when you believe everyone is focused on the brace, it becomes harder to see anything else.

The brace starts taking up more and more space in your mind.

Eventually it can start feeling like the biggest thing about you.

But just because something feels big does not mean it is big.

At least not to everyone else.

Think about the people you know at school.

When you think about your friends, what comes to mind?

Probably not one physical characteristic.

You think about their personality.

The jokes they make.

The memories you've shared.

The way they act.

The things they're interested in.

Human beings are much more than one detail.

You are too.

Another thing worth remembering is that people often take their cues from you.

If you treat the brace like the most important thing about yourself, it can start feeling that way.

If you continue showing up as yourself, most people continue seeing you as yourself.

That's because identity is built through repetition.

Every day people interact with you, they're learning who you are.

Not just what you wear.

Who you are.

The funny person.

The smart person.

The creative person.

The athletic person.

The loyal friend.

The kind classmate.

The brace is only one small piece of that picture.

Many teens accidentally start reducing themselves to the brace before anyone else does.

They stop participating.

Stop taking chances.

Stop focusing on the rest of their identity.

Everything becomes about scoliosis.

Everything becomes about treatment.

Everything becomes about what makes them different.

That's when confidence starts shrinking.

Because confidence grows when you remember that your life is bigger than your diagnosis.

Much bigger.

One of the healthiest questions you can ask yourself is:

Who am I besides someone who wears a brace?

The answer is usually much longer than expected.

You have hobbies.

Dreams.

Goals.

Friendships.

Strengths.

Values.

Talents.

Experiences.

All of those things still exist.

The brace did not erase them.

The diagnosis did not erase them.

School did not erase them.

They are still there.

Another thing many teens eventually discover is that the people who matter rarely define them by the brace.

Real friends don't.

Good teachers don't.

Supportive people don't.

They may know about the brace.

They may notice the brace.

But they still see the person.

That's what matters.

Of course, there may be a few people who only see the surface.

A few people who focus on the obvious.

A few people who don't know you well enough to see the bigger picture.

That's true for everyone.

Not just teens with scoliosis.

The important thing is not letting those people decide your identity.

Because they don't know enough to do that.

You do.

If you're worried about becoming known as the kid with the brace, remember this:

You are the only person who gets to decide who you are.

Not your classmates.

Not random students.

Not people passing you in the hallway.

You.

The brace may be part of your story.

But it is not the whole story.

Not even close.

And the more you continue showing up as yourself, the more everyone else gets the opportunity to see what has been true all along.

You were always more than the brace.

You always will be.