Most People Aren't Focused on You—They're Focused on Themselves

Have you ever walked into a room and immediately wondered if people were noticing your rib hump?

Maybe you adjusted your shirt.

Maybe you changed your posture.

Maybe you tried to stand a certain way so nobody would see your back.

For many teens with scoliosis, this happens all the time.

You start feeling like everyone is looking at you.

Everyone is noticing.

Everyone can tell.

Everyone is thinking about your scoliosis.

But here's something important to understand:

Most people aren't thinking about your scoliosis. They're thinking about themselves.

That isn't meant to sound harsh.

It's actually good news.

Think about your average day at school.

The girl sitting across from you might be worried about a pimple on her face.

The boy in your class might be worried about a test he forgot to study for.

Someone else is wondering if their outfit looks okay.

Someone else is worried about making the team.

Someone else is nervous about talking to a friend.

Someone else is thinking about what people think of them.

Most people spend a huge amount of time focused on their own lives, their own worries, and their own insecurities.

That's human nature.

In fact, they are often doing the exact same thing you're doing.

They're wondering if people are noticing them.

This is one of the biggest tricks scoliosis can play on your mind.

Because you are so aware of your rib hump, you start assuming everyone else is aware of it too.

Because you notice your uneven shoulders, you assume everyone else notices them too.

Because you think about your scoliosis every day, you start believing everyone else does too.

But they don't.

You see your body every day.

You know exactly where your asymmetry is.

You know exactly which angle makes it more noticeable.

You know exactly what you're insecure about.

Other people don't have that information.

Most people are seeing the whole person.

They're noticing your smile.

Your personality.

Your sense of humor.

The way you talk.

The way you make them feel.

Those things leave a much bigger impression than a rib hump ever will.

Imagine going to a birthday party and spending the entire time worrying that someone might notice your scoliosis.

Meanwhile, everyone else is busy wondering whether people like them.

The funny thing is that almost everyone is worried about being judged while very few people are actually doing the judging.

They're too busy worrying about themselves.

That doesn't mean nobody will ever notice your scoliosis.

Someone might.

But noticing is very different from focusing.

Most people aren't studying your back.

They aren't analyzing your posture.

They aren't keeping track of your shoulders.

They have their own lives, their own thoughts, and their own insecurities filling up their minds.

Sometimes it helps to ask yourself this question:

How much time do I spend thinking about other people's physical differences?

Probably not much.

You don't spend your day analyzing someone's height, ears, nose, freckles, scars, or shoulders.

You see the person.

The same thing is usually happening when people look at you.

They see you.

Not a rib hump.

Not a curve.

Not a diagnosis.

Just you.

One of the most freeing things you can learn is that you don't have to spend your life trying to prevent people from noticing every little thing about your body.

Because most people were never paying nearly as much attention as you thought.

They're focused on themselves.

And that means you're free to spend less time worrying about being watched and more time simply living your life.