I Feel Bad That My Mom Is Worried

Sometimes scoliosis creates a feeling that nobody talks about.

Guilt.

Not guilt because you did something wrong.

Guilt because someone you love is worried about you.

You see your mom reading scoliosis articles.

You see her stressing before appointments.

You see her watching growth spurts.

You see the look on her face when an X-ray is coming up.

And part of you starts thinking:

"I hate that she's worried."

"I wish she didn't have to deal with this."

"I feel bad that my scoliosis affects her too."

Those feelings are incredibly common.

Especially for teens who are thoughtful and caring.

When you love someone, it's hard to watch them worry.

Even when the thing they're worried about is you.

The first thing you need to know is this:

Your mom's worry is not your fault.

Not even a little bit.

You did not cause your scoliosis.

You did not choose it.

You did not create the uncertainty.

And you are not responsible for fixing your mom's feelings about it.

That's important because many teens quietly take on a job that was never theirs.

They start trying to protect their parents.

They stop talking about fears.

They hide worries.

They pretend they're fine.

They keep difficult feelings to themselves.

Not because they're okay.

Because they don't want their parents to worry more.

The problem is that carrying everything yourself doesn't actually make your mom worry less.

It usually just means you're struggling alone.

Remember, your mom is worried because she loves you.

That's what parents do.

If you had a friend who was struggling with something important, would you stop caring just because it made you worried?

Of course not.

You would still want to know.

You would still want to help.

You would still want to be there.

Your mom feels the same way about you.

In fact, most parents would rather know what their child is feeling than have them hide everything.

Even if the truth is difficult.

Even if the truth makes them emotional.

Even if the truth makes them worry sometimes.

Because being included is better than being shut out.

Another thing to remember is that your mom is an adult.

She can handle her feelings.

She may not like feeling scared.

She may not like uncertainty.

She may not enjoy worrying.

But those emotions belong to her.

They are not your responsibility to fix.

Your job is not to make sure your mom never worries.

Your job is to be a kid navigating scoliosis.

Her job is to be a parent navigating scoliosis.

Those are different jobs.

And neither of you needs to protect the other from every difficult feeling.

In fact, families usually do better when everyone is honest.

When parents can admit they're worried.

When kids can admit they're worried.

When nobody feels like they have to pretend.

The next time you catch yourself feeling guilty because your mom is worried, remind yourself of something important:

Your mom would choose you every single time.

Every appointment.

Every X-ray.

Every worry.

Every uncertainty.

Every single time.

Because that's what love does.

So don't carry guilt on top of scoliosis.

Your mom is worried because she loves you.

And while that worry can be hard to see, it is not something you caused and it is not something you need to fix.

The best thing you can do is let her love you, let her support you, and remember that you're both walking through this together.