My Parents Aren't Taking My Sadness Seriously

One of the hardest parts of being in monitoring is that other people often assume you're fine.

You don't wear a brace.

You haven't had surgery.

You aren't going through major treatment.

From the outside, it can look like scoliosis isn't affecting you very much at all.

And sometimes parents accidentally fall into that way of thinking too.

They may say things like:

"At least you don't need a brace."

"At least it's not severe."

"The doctor isn't worried."

"You should be thankful it's not worse."

While those comments are usually meant to be reassuring, they can leave you feeling completely misunderstood.

Because your sadness isn't about whether you wear a brace.

Your sadness might be about your rib hump.

Your confidence.

Your uneven shoulders.

Your body image.

Your fear of progression.

Your next appointment.

The fact that scoliosis is on your mind all the time.

Those things are real.

Even without a brace.

Many teens in monitoring start questioning themselves because of this.

They think:

"Maybe I'm being dramatic."

"Maybe I shouldn't be this upset."

"Maybe my feelings don't make sense."

But feelings don't work that way.

You don't need a brace for scoliosis to affect your confidence.

You don't need surgery for scoliosis to affect your emotions.

You don't need a large curve for scoliosis to feel difficult sometimes.

The emotional impact of scoliosis is not determined by your treatment plan.

And that's something many adults don't fully understand at first.

Parents often focus on the medical side.

The doctor says things are stable.

The curve isn't severe.

Treatment isn't needed right now.

To them, those are all good things.

And they are.

But what they may not realize is that good medical news doesn't automatically make the emotional side disappear.

You can be medically okay and emotionally struggling at the same time.

Those two things are not opposites.

That's why it's important to tell your parents what is actually making you sad.

Don't assume they know.

Many parents hear:

"I'm upset about scoliosis."

And immediately think about the curve.

The doctor.

The treatment plan.

Meanwhile, you're thinking about confidence.

Appearance.

Feeling different.

Feeling alone.

Those are completely different conversations.

Try being specific.

You might say:

"I'm not sad because I need treatment. I'm sad because I don't like how my back looks."

Or:

"I know my curve isn't severe, but I think about scoliosis all the time."

Or:

"I don't think you realize how much this affects my confidence."

Those kinds of conversations help parents understand what you're actually experiencing.

Because most parents aren't trying to ignore your feelings.

They're trying to reassure you using the information they understand best.

The problem is that they're talking about the medical side while you're struggling with the emotional side.

And if nobody points that out, both people leave feeling frustrated.

So if your parents seem like they aren't taking your sadness seriously, don't immediately assume they don't care.

They may simply not understand what you're sad about.

Help them see it.

Help them understand it.

Because you deserve support for the emotional side of scoliosis too.

Not just the physical side.

And your feelings matter whether you're wearing a brace or not.