They're Scared Too

Sometimes it's easy to forget that scoliosis didn't just happen to you.

It happened to your parents too.

Not physically, of course.

They don't have the curve.

They don't get the X-rays.

They don't live in your body.

But the day you were diagnosed, their world changed too.

Many parents walk into that first appointment expecting reassurance.

Then suddenly they're hearing words they've never heard before.

Curve measurements.

Monitoring.

Progression.

Bracing.

Surgery.

Follow-up appointments.

Future uncertainty.

And just like you, they don't know exactly what comes next.

That can be scary.

The difference is that parents don't always show their fear the same way kids do.

You might cry.

You might worry.

You might talk about it.

Parents often do something different.

They research.

They ask questions.

They read articles.

They schedule appointments.

They check your back.

They try to gather information.

From the outside, it can look like they're overreacting.

Or obsessing.

Or making a bigger deal out of scoliosis than you want them to.

But often what's underneath those behaviors is fear.

Not fear of you.

Fear for you.

They love you.

And when people love someone, uncertainty can be incredibly difficult.

Your parents wish they could look into the future and know exactly what will happen.

They wish they knew whether your curve would stay the same.

They wish they knew whether you would ever need treatment.

They wish they knew whether you would struggle with confidence.

They wish they could guarantee everything would be okay.

The problem is that they can't.

So they do the next best thing.

They worry.

Not because they want to.

Because they care.

Sometimes teens get frustrated when parents ask lots of questions.

"How's your back?"

"Do you think anything has changed?"

"Does it hurt?"

"When is your next appointment?"

After hearing those questions enough times, it can start to feel annoying.

But if you listen closely, there is often another question underneath all of them:

"Are you okay?"

That's usually what they're really asking.

Parents don't always have the perfect words.

Sometimes fear comes out as questions.

Sometimes fear comes out as advice.

Sometimes fear comes out as research.

Sometimes fear comes out as worrying.

They're doing the best they can with something that scares them too.

That doesn't mean you have to carry their fear.

You don't.

And it doesn't mean they're always handling it perfectly.

They're not.

Parents are human.

Just like you.

They get scared.

They get overwhelmed.

They get frustrated.

They make mistakes.

But it can help to remember that most of the things they do are coming from the same place:

Love.

The parent checking scoliosis websites at midnight?

Love.

The parent asking about your back for the tenth time?

Love.

The parent stressing before your appointment?

Love.

Sometimes messy love.

Sometimes annoying love.

Sometimes overprotective love.

But love nonetheless.

The next time your parents seem worried, try to remember that they're walking through uncertainty too.

You aren't the only one wondering what the future holds.

You aren't the only one hoping for good news at appointments.

You aren't the only one wishing scoliosis wasn't part of your life.

They're scared too.

And while they may not always show it perfectly, they're facing those fears for the same reason they do everything else:

Because they love you more than you probably realize.