When My Parents Worry More Than I Do
Sometimes the person most stressed about your scoliosis isn't you.
It's your parents.
You may walk out of an appointment feeling completely fine.
Your curve stayed the same.
The doctor isn't concerned.
Everything is going according to plan.
Meanwhile, your parents are already talking about the next appointment.
The next growth spurt.
The next X-ray.
The next thing that could happen.
This can be confusing.
Especially when you're not feeling particularly worried yourself.
You may find yourself wondering:
"Why are they making such a big deal out of this?"
"Why can't they relax?"
"Why do they seem more nervous than I am?"
The answer is usually simple.
Parents spend a lot of time thinking about things they cannot control.
And scoliosis is one of those things.
They can't see the future.
They can't guarantee what your next X-ray will show.
They can't promise that your curve will never change.
They can't solve the uncertainty.
For many parents, that uncertainty feels uncomfortable.
Very uncomfortable.
So they worry.
They read articles.
They ask questions.
They think about appointments.
They watch growth spurts closely.
Not because they think something bad is happening.
Because they love you.
Sometimes parents carry fears they never even tell their children about.
They may worry about treatment.
They may worry about your confidence.
They may worry about your future.
They may worry about things that are years away.
Meanwhile, you're focused on what matters right now.
School.
Friends.
Sports.
Activities.
Life.
Neither approach is wrong.
They're simply different.
The challenge comes when your parents' anxiety starts becoming your anxiety.
When they're worried, you start worrying.
When they're nervous, you start feeling nervous.
When they focus on scoliosis, it becomes harder for you to stop focusing on it too.
That's when it helps to remember something important:
Your parents' worries belong to them.
Your feelings belong to you.
You do not have to carry every fear your parents have.
And your parents do not have to carry every fear you have.
You can support each other without taking on each other's anxiety.
If your parents seem especially worried, try to remember what is underneath that worry.
Love.
That's usually what it is.
Not a lack of confidence in you.
Not a belief that something terrible is going to happen.
Love.
Parents worry because they care.
Sometimes a lot.
Sometimes too much.
Sometimes more than they need to.
But the reason is almost always the same.
They love their child and want everything to be okay.
The next time your parents seem more worried than you are, try not to see them as the enemy.
They're not.
They're simply dealing with scoliosis in their own way.
Just like you're dealing with it in yours.
And even when their worry feels frustrating, it's usually coming from a place of wanting the very best for you.