My Parents Keep Asking If My Back Hurts

Sometimes it feels like your parents ask the same question over and over.

"How's your back?"

"Does your back hurt?"

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Any pain today?"

At first, you answer.

Then you answer again.

And again.

And again.

Eventually you might find yourself thinking:

"Why do they keep asking?"

"Nothing has changed."

"Why can't they just leave it alone?"

If you've ever felt annoyed by those questions, you're not alone.

A lot of teens in monitoring feel this way.

The thing to remember is that your parents usually aren't asking because they think something is wrong.

They're asking because they care.

Before scoliosis entered your life, your parents probably didn't spend much time thinking about your spine.

Now they do.

They know you have a condition they're monitoring.

They know you're growing.

They know you're having appointments.

And they know there are parts of scoliosis they cannot see.

They can't feel what you feel.

They can't tell whether you're uncomfortable.

They can't tell whether something is bothering you.

The only way they know is by asking.

Unfortunately, parents sometimes ask the same question so often that it starts feeling like an interrogation.

You walk into the kitchen.

"How's your back?"

You get in the car.

"How's your back?"

You come home from school.

"How's your back?"

After a while, it can feel like scoliosis is the only thing anyone wants to talk about.

That can be frustrating.

Especially on days when you don't want to think about scoliosis at all.

Sometimes you just want to be a normal kid.

Not a scoliosis patient.

Not someone being monitored.

Just you.

The challenge is that your parents are often trying to gather information while you're trying to forget about scoliosis for a little while.

Those goals don't always match.

Your parents may be thinking:

"I want to make sure everything is okay."

Meanwhile, you're thinking:

"I don't want to think about my back right now."

Neither person is wrong.

You're simply approaching the situation from different places.

One thing that can help is being honest.

If you're having a day where you don't want to discuss scoliosis, it's okay to say:

"My back feels fine. Can we talk about something else?"

That's a reasonable request.

Most parents don't actually want scoliosis to become the center of every conversation either.

They're just trying to make sure you're okay.

It's also important to recognize something else.

There may come a day when your back actually does hurt.

Or when something feels different.

Or when you're worried about something.

When that happens, you'll probably be glad your parents are paying attention.

Because the same questions that feel annoying today are usually coming from people who want to help when you need it most.

The next time your parents ask about your back, try to hear the question underneath the question.

What they're often really asking is:

"Are you okay?"

"Is there anything I should know?"

"Do you need anything?"

"How can I help?"

Those questions come from love.

Even if they sometimes get repeated a little too often.

So yes, it can be annoying when your parents ask about your back for the hundredth time.

But it's also a reminder that you have people paying attention.

People who care.

People who want to know how you're doing.

And while they may not always ask in the perfect way, that's not a bad thing to have on your team.